Tuesday, March 1, 2011

sedeh, stress, kecewa

sumpah skang emosi aku mmg ngah xstabil dan sgt2 serabut...terima ksih kepada beliau sbb btol2 dh sshkan idop aku...sesunggoh nyer post entry yg sedeh2 dan beremosi bkn priority aku...sbb aku xska show off to public yg aku ngah bersedeh...tp aku akan jd sgt fragile bila berdapan ngn org yg closed ngn aku...sgt2 fragile and those people knows what i mean...tp this time aku xbole stop my mind to tell my fingers from typing this emotional entry...


sapa nk fail subject??aku dh try my best tok lulus...the whole sem aku rs cm amek subject beliau je...abes semua subject dianak tirikan...berjaga siang malam just tok puaskan ati beliau n just to shows him that im not stupid...sbb subject neh pointer aku jtuh mendadak...sbb xde ms tok subject laen...sumpah aku dh try tok jd adil to all subjects but i cant...setiap kali presention aku jd takot...tkot dia xappreciate n simply gave us zero...yes he did gave us zero...tiada mark tok usaha...salah ttp salah dan tiada penyelesaian nyer...sbb xdak penyelesaian we keep doing the same mistake...snior yg wt master ngn phd pon takot nk ajar ktorg...sbb takot kena marah ngn beliau...

mula nyer mmg aku xbole trima yg aku fail..malu ya amat ms tu...xbrani nk bgtau mak ayah...sbb xsggop tgk depa sedeh..mmg depa xkan ckp apa2 tp air muka tu aku mmg dh bole baca...depa sedeh sbnar nyer...tp xmo aku ssh ati so depa xtnjuk...cuti mid sem aritu bru aku bgtau sbb aku dh bole trima kenyataan yg aku fail...tp pas jumpa dr. baharin ptg td mmg aku terkesan..dia ckp cmneh.."klau dia baek sgt kenapa dia failkan awk??knapa dia xtlg je...4 org fail paper dia"...dan skang aku sgt berterima ksih dgn beliau tok suma neh...



mula2 aku mntak beliau bka subject tu sem neh..tp dia xnk n simply he said "klau sy bka pon knpom awak fail jugak"..pastu dia suggest wt short kos...aku xkisah wt apa pon as long as aku bole grad on time ngn kawan2 yg laen...tp skang policy fac dh tetapkan xbole wt short kos..alasan: nk bg lectrer wt research..klau lcturer xwt byk research n produce byk jurnal xbole nek pangkat dan nek gaji...dont they think policy neh dh mnyusahkan student..apa ingt suma student kaya ka??ingt student ska delay bila nk grad??dh la cuti sem neh pjg...bln 9 bru bka sem bru..jenuh la aku nk tgu...

dr. bhrin ckp dia xbole paksa lecturer ngajar kos tu...tp klau aku bole pjuk mn2 lcturer tok bka ngn sggop ngaja tok short kos neh...insyaallah dia bole convince timbalan dekan tok approve ktorg nyer short kos...dan aku sgt berharap bkn beliau...tp klau kena jugak aku redha je la...apa yg aku nk skang grad on time...insyaallah...  


p/s: to beliau..im soo sorry..its not my intention tok post entry yg ada story bout him..









2 comments:

  1. huhu..thanks darling...klau aku xbole knvo skali nt aku teman la ank konvo..=)

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